A Day Is Wasted If You Haven't Learned Something New

I noticed the other day that I have learned a lot over summer break. Here are some examples:

Regarding house sitting:

• When you are left by yourself, you somehow instantly turn into a Merry Maid. Everything has to be neat and tidy, even though 24 hours ago you couldn’t care less if that cereal bowl sat out for two days or more. The cat litter must be changed, carpet vacuumed and table cleared.
• You realize how much your mom does on a daily basis. Opening all the windows every morning, doing laundry from the day before, cleaning the litter box, washing the dishes in the sink and much, much more. I think every mother’s day we should celebrate by taking over mom’s usual duties rather than getting her some brightly-colored card for 97 cents. She would be even more appreciated.
• Not only do you instantly turn into a Merry Maid, but you are given supersonic ears. You hear every creak and cat meow. I never realized that the clock in my room ticked so loudly until this week.
• You come to the realization that your mother doesn’t trust you with a stove. All those fancy frozen dinners she bought you? Preventive measures coming from a long history of fear that you will one day burn down the house. The only thing you are allowed to use is the microwave. That and maybe the oven if you promise to follow the neatly ordered directions on the back of the pizza box. She also calls three times a day to make sure that you haven’t burned down the house yet.

Regarding school:

• Books are expensive. The end.

Regarding McDonald’s (because we know there’s always a learning experience to be found here):

• I have tasted the McDouble. It is alright. Could use some lettuce or something, but for $0.53 with the employee discount? Not bad.
• When a customer orders a Happy Meal, the friendly order-taking back and forth turns into an interrogation session. “Okay, and I want a chicken nugget happy meal...” “WILL THAT BE WITH FRIES OR APPLE DIPPERS?” “Uhmm... sweetie what do you want? Um, apples.” “ANY SAUCE FOR THE CHICKEN NUGGETS?” “I guess so. Do you have sweet and sour?” “YES.” “Ok... and I want a Quarter Pounder with Cheese...” “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOUNG LADY. DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK WITH THE HAPPY MEAL?” “Chocolate milk I suppose.” “AND IS THIS FOR A BOY OR FOR A GIRL?” “Oh, it’s for a boy.” “ALRIGHT THEN. NOW WE CAN MOVE ON...” So many questions we have to ask...
• I am horrible at doing the night dishes. At night, all those greasy trays, etc. from the grill end up in the back sink. A perfectionist cannot do this job. A perfectionist who also likes dishes cleaned and sanitized to the max definitely cannot do this job. After an hour and a half of this (mind you – I was taking orders and cashing people out at the same time), my supervisor sent one of the boys to clean them...
• People exist who order a bun with solely mayonnaise and bacon on it. No hamburg. Go figure.