It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Yay the Christmas season has arrived! :)

So, here's a question: Why do people have to swarm the stores right before snowstorms? (Which could be interpreted as a tongue-twister if you read it out loud...) Somehow I think people assume Y2K is happening all over again, and they have to buy all the provisions they could possibly need for a year. The fact that I went shopping on the Saturday before Christmas only added extra people to the mix of snowbirds. It's miraculous though. What - you can't wait until Monday to eat the cheese that you so wanted on your crackers?

While out on my Saturday-before-Christmas shopping trip, I also noticed the exorbitant amount of wine that people bought the day before a snowstorm. This is most likely because Christmas is coming up this week and they need their holiday brew... but still. It gave off the impression that they were going to sit at home and get a little... you know. They might get to the point where they wouldn't recognize the white stuff falling outside. "What are all these cotton balls doing outside, honey?" "Oh, I don't know - I thought it was manna or something..."

As a kid, I never understood Santa Claus. Supposedly the elves make all of the toys up at the North Pole, and Santa delivers them to all the little boys and girls on Christmas Eve. Yet I always wondered why the stores bothered to have huge sales if Santa wasn't outsourcing...

Merry Christmas everyone!

Airports

In the confusion with my flight back to school, I got moved to a Delta flight. I usually do not fly Delta, simply because US Airways usually goes through Charlotte, and Mom likes the Charlotte airport over the Atlanta airport (which is the one that Delta primarily flies through). Anyway. Long story short, I ended up on a Delta flight, which opened up a host of interesting new things.

For example, Delta has their “Breezeway” and their “General Boarding” sections when you walk up to present your boarding pass. They are divided by a rope, and make up two lines. The only difference between the two sections is that one has a clean blue carpet on it that says “Breezeway” and one does not. This carpeted section is for gold and silver members and other such first class passengers. Frankly, I’m not paying extra just so I can have a little extra cushion under my tootsies as I walk up to present my boarding pass. Not worth it. The person who thought this up in marketing needs to rethink this one, because I’m not being fooled.

Thankfully, they still offer complementary pretzels, peanuts, and even cookies if you so desire. Points earned in my book.

I can’t get on the Atlanta internet. LAME.

The Atlanta airport is huge. You know it’s bad when you’re still walking and it seems as if you haven’t moved in the past 5 minutes.

Speaking of which, this girl just walked past me at a really brisk pace – definitely on par with power walking. She was also carrying a large bottle of water. Maybe trying to incorporate her workout into her spare time? Might as well exercise in the airport.

Dreaming of Pizza and Talking with Midwesterners

I apologize for not updating this in about a month, but I have been pretty busy with school, work study and general shennanigans. Here are some things that have happened and thoughts that have run through my head as of late:

Admissions:

• I get to talk with people who are from the Midwest (Wisconsin primarily). They answer the phone and all that I can picture is the little minivan from Cars who says, "Oooh - look honey! Surplus!" Soon it will probably start to rub off on me just like the Southern accent has and I will become the person with the most confused American accent ever. Can that count as my intercultural experience for Covenant?


• I have discovered that aside from my guy friends and my boyfriend, I have this weird phobia of talking to guys on the phone. I have to stare at their name for a few minutes, deciding whether or not I feel brave enough to pick up the phone and ask for Trevor. If there is an answering machine, there is much rejoicing. One time I thought I was home free - I was leaving a message in my typical cheerful "I'm so glad you're not home because I didn't exactly want to talk with you" tone, and then at the tail-end of my message, his mom picked up. Plan dashed. It's getting better though - I don't have mini panic attacks anymore.


• All parents take note: When naming your child, please name them something that makes sense phonetically. Take pity on the poor admissions callers who crowd around each other's desks discussing whether to say "Challie" or "Callie" with a silent "H."

En Generale:

• For the past two nights I have had dreams that involved food. The first night I ate some amazing pizza, and then the second night mom made chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake - in squares, which she put on the end of sticks. They were sooo good in my dreams - so good in fact that when I was half awake I thought, "Hmm... I need to ask mom to make pizza tonight." Then I woke up and realized that I was still at school. Bummer. Thankfully this weekend is Halloween, which means candy, which means CHOCOLATE, which cures all ills.


• I have decided that because of my ADD nature, driving a standard car would not be the best option. Too many things to pay attention to and look at inside of the car, nevermind outside - you know, like the road and stuff. Trust me, I tried this over Fall Break, and wasn't too successful.

Just an "Average" Day

I don’t know who exactly reads this... if anyone actually does. Right now blogging has become this activity that makes me look at life in a different, hilarious way. My thoughts during the day have become things like: “Huh. The Great Hall smells kind of funny,” which progresses to “Why do my clothes still smell like the Great Hall 20 minutes later?” which then evolves into, “When someone comes out of the Great Hall, it is like unto a fly trying to break free from the putrid spit of its potential predator – the slimy stench of the spit never really rubs off... I should put that in my blog.” You’ve got to admit: When life seems pretty boring, just throw in the words “slimy stench.” Works every time.
Along those lines, here are some things I’ve learned recently (maybe over-dramatized, maybe not...):

• According to my sociology teacher, the phrase, “Now but not yet,” can apply to your somewhat independent status as a young adult trying to live in your parent’s house after being away at college for a couple of years.
• High school students have very interesting voicemails. Calling potential students I have come across some real gems: A girl’s answering machine that sounded like Taz the Tasmanian devil and then went to the beep; one that played “Three Wooden Crosses” by Randy Travis; one that was a girl laughing and then the beep; and then the best one – “Alcohol” by Brad Paisley. I can’t decide if that breaks Covenant’s student contract or not...
• I cannot take the phrase, “Hedge of protection” seriously anymore after watching Tim Hawkins. If you’re curious about this one, just look it up on YouTube.

That’s about all I’ve got for now. Life has been pretty normal... or has it?

Hi, This is Lianne from Covenant...

Getting back to school always feels a little weird – it's like you’re going back to a funny end-of-the summer camp. You see all your friends again, and want to spend most of your time catching up with them, but yet you know that you’ll need to begin buckling down and doing homework soon. You come to the horrible realization that you have to buy all the necessary toiletries for yourself, and that you also might have to clean your room more than once a semester (hehe – although some of us have let that slide on occasion. By the way, it is possible to clean your room twice a semester and still have it be reasonably stink-free: buy an air freshener).

One other exciting thing about the new school year is the freshies. Normally, I like this group of people. Honestly. There are so many new faces, and so many fun people to meet. However, in addition to learning their “Big C” and “Little c” callings, this group of people needs to know one crucial thing: Enter the dish disposal on the right, exit on the left. This is all I ask. All of Covenant will thank you.

This year I'm doing my work study job in admissions, calling people up and telling them about Covenant. I usually get pretty nervous when I call people on the phone – especially people that I don’t know. Today was my first day and I was pretty nervous, but hopefully it will get better with time. I really want to open with the disclaimer, “I promise that not everyone who goes to Covenant is as awkward as I am...”

I found out that I put on a Southern accent when I get nervous. I don’t really know why. Maybe I’m trying to mimic the other callers that are around me... conforming to my social group? I don't know. My sociology professor would probably love this.

Talking to guys on the phone is kind of a stretch for me – they don’t talk. The first person I spoke to was a guy, and he answered monosyllabically. “How was your summer?” Good. “What’d you do?” Mission trip. Arrggghhh... What am I going to do with that??? At McDonald’s, I loved customers who didn’t talk much – typically they were the ones who gave me their orders in 0.2 seconds, and didn’t have too many qualifications for their burgers. Now I hate these people. Funny how that works.

A Day Is Wasted If You Haven't Learned Something New

I noticed the other day that I have learned a lot over summer break. Here are some examples:

Regarding house sitting:

• When you are left by yourself, you somehow instantly turn into a Merry Maid. Everything has to be neat and tidy, even though 24 hours ago you couldn’t care less if that cereal bowl sat out for two days or more. The cat litter must be changed, carpet vacuumed and table cleared.
• You realize how much your mom does on a daily basis. Opening all the windows every morning, doing laundry from the day before, cleaning the litter box, washing the dishes in the sink and much, much more. I think every mother’s day we should celebrate by taking over mom’s usual duties rather than getting her some brightly-colored card for 97 cents. She would be even more appreciated.
• Not only do you instantly turn into a Merry Maid, but you are given supersonic ears. You hear every creak and cat meow. I never realized that the clock in my room ticked so loudly until this week.
• You come to the realization that your mother doesn’t trust you with a stove. All those fancy frozen dinners she bought you? Preventive measures coming from a long history of fear that you will one day burn down the house. The only thing you are allowed to use is the microwave. That and maybe the oven if you promise to follow the neatly ordered directions on the back of the pizza box. She also calls three times a day to make sure that you haven’t burned down the house yet.

Regarding school:

• Books are expensive. The end.

Regarding McDonald’s (because we know there’s always a learning experience to be found here):

• I have tasted the McDouble. It is alright. Could use some lettuce or something, but for $0.53 with the employee discount? Not bad.
• When a customer orders a Happy Meal, the friendly order-taking back and forth turns into an interrogation session. “Okay, and I want a chicken nugget happy meal...” “WILL THAT BE WITH FRIES OR APPLE DIPPERS?” “Uhmm... sweetie what do you want? Um, apples.” “ANY SAUCE FOR THE CHICKEN NUGGETS?” “I guess so. Do you have sweet and sour?” “YES.” “Ok... and I want a Quarter Pounder with Cheese...” “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOUNG LADY. DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK WITH THE HAPPY MEAL?” “Chocolate milk I suppose.” “AND IS THIS FOR A BOY OR FOR A GIRL?” “Oh, it’s for a boy.” “ALRIGHT THEN. NOW WE CAN MOVE ON...” So many questions we have to ask...
• I am horrible at doing the night dishes. At night, all those greasy trays, etc. from the grill end up in the back sink. A perfectionist cannot do this job. A perfectionist who also likes dishes cleaned and sanitized to the max definitely cannot do this job. After an hour and a half of this (mind you – I was taking orders and cashing people out at the same time), my supervisor sent one of the boys to clean them...
• People exist who order a bun with solely mayonnaise and bacon on it. No hamburg. Go figure.

Notes from My Métier

(met-YAY: means occupation/profession. Love those words of the day...)

There are way are too many uptight people in this world. 99.7% of them come to the McDonald's drive-through. I'm pretty sure there's been a Gallup poll done on it.

Recently one such person pulled up to the ordering point. The automatic greeter said, “Welcome to McDonald’s. Would you like to try an iced mocha?” and she blurted out her order – too quick for me to get it while I was talking to the customer I was cashing out. "I'm sorry, did you say an iced coffee?"

"NO. I WANT AN ICE CREAM CONE. Gah!"

I stood in the white cell, that is, drive-through and waited for her to arrive at my station. She did in 2.1 seconds. "You guys just built this brand new store, and you STILL can't hear me! *insert various curses and swearing underneath her breath here.*" I apologized, insisting that it was my fault - I was telling the other customer what a McDouble was, (In case you want to know, it’s a double cheeseburger with one fewer slice of cheese. Yes, they came up with a whole new sandwich for this. Ooooh. Earthshattering), and couldn't catch her order in time.

How can people be so ridiculously impatient and uptight? Some days I want to have a big, brightly-colored banner hanging in my drive-through cell that says "Life's too short to wear a frown - be happy. It's great for your facial muscles," while playing soothing Jim Brickman piano music in the background. Or maybe Enya... Enya could be good.

Don’t get me wrong - not all customers are wound up. Many aren’t, and they make my day. There is an older gentleman who comes through every day - I call him "Mr. Senior Black Coffee" because I don't know his name. He comes up to the order point, says "Just a senior black coffee please" and drives up to my window. Every day he complains about the prices going up, and every day I tell him to go buy a coffeemaker. We’ve bonded. It's great.

Speaking of uptight customers, what is it with people hanging their hand out the window after giving you their money? They hand you their money, and then instantly put their hand out for the change. Bud, that $20 is going to be kind of hard to break when your order only came to $1.02. Allow a little time here. I had a guy recently who handed me his money and then rested his hand palm up on the windowsill as I got his change. This evil thought flashed across my mind: The automatic windows move if I step out of the way... Oooh... no. Must... resist...

Basically

In my early essay-writing days, my favorite word was “basically.” I quickly discovered that this word could apply to nearly every subject. In fifth grade, my sentences went something like this (taken directly from an essay I wrote about Roger Bacon): “This person, Roger Bacon, was baisicly a reformer, like Martin Luther. Roger was actually a long time before Martin Luther, but baisicly did the same thing.”

Mom says that by the end of that school year she was about to strike that word from my vocabulary. Gradually I learned how to spell it correctly, but it still remained one of my favorite words.

In high school, the word “basically” was replaced by “essentially” as my new favorite. “Essentially” said the same thing as “basically,” but sounded a little more refined. To this day that word creeps into my papers, and as much as I try to make it stop, it keeps coming back - like the garlic taste in your mouth after eating spaghetti.

“Random” is another one of my favorite words, and as anyone else will tell you who knows me, “Awesome” is another. “Epic,” “Intense” and “Eftsoons” are others, but there wasn’t enough room in the title of this blog to include all my favorites. Even if there was, you wouldn’t be able to find the blog because the URL would be so horrendously long.

Oh, and about me? I’m an English major who works at McDonald’s. Draw from that what you will.